Intentional living is all about believing in yourself. Exploring, understanding, owning who you are, and what you have to offer to others around you. In short, confidence. But we are also focused on building meaningful relationships here on this channel. And one thing that can hurt your relationship the most is arrogance.
This is why in this article, I want to talk about the difference between confidence and arrogance, and how you can approach life and relationships with humble confidence, that’s empowering for you and welcoming for others. Hi, I’m Dr. Suri a psychologist on the mission of sharing the art of living and loving in an intentional manner. So if you’re new here, be sure to subscribe and join our growing family. Matt comes from a poor background, but was able to get into college on a scholarship. He’s always taking advanced classes and staying ahead of class schedules, but because he enjoys studying. Matt tries to score good grades to reassure his confidence, and believe that he can achieve something big in his life. In the same program, there’s another student, Harry.
Harry also scores high in most classes and feels proud of his accomplishments. He likes to ask tough cautious in class to show his teachers and peers how smart he is, which makes him feel good. While working on group projects, he also loves challenging others to feel superior and proud of his intellect.
Who do you think has healthy confidence and who is on the arrogance end of the spectrum? Let me know in the comments down below.
Confidence is the belief about yourself that you’re good at something. It’s about knowing that you have the skills to accomplish a task, whether that’s a work assignment or making your friends feel comfortable around you. Confidence is all about knowing your value and feeling good about having that ability or skill. But it’s very, very different than arrogance. The biggest difference between confidence and arrogance is the confidence that’s about you. It’s about knowing your worth, what you can and can’t do.
What do you bring to the table in your personal and professional relationships? Arrogance on the other head is externally triggered. It’s dependent on you feeling superior to others. If knowing that you are better than others brings a greater sense of comfort, that knowing that you’re good at something, then that’s really not confidence. And a common reason that I see driving people towards what looks like arrogance is a superficial attempt to appear more confident. The arrogance is often a facade to hide insecurities, but think about it. What’s the number one advice that people often give to someone with low self-esteem.
It doesn’t work when you try to just be more confident without knowing what areas you’re confident in. You have to identify the strengths that make you unique, things that you bring to the table, because those are the things that will help you feel confident, and empower you from within. Now, I go deeper into this topic of knowing your worth and believing in what you have to offer to others in this article right here. But for now, let’s move on to the two telltale signs of telling confidence and arrogance apart. First sign is that, you know what you’re confident about and what you’re not confident about. No one can be confident about everything because there will be areas that you’re good at. And then there will be some areas that you’re not good at.
For example, I feel pretty comfortable with public speaking, but ask me to sing or dance and you’ll see the most un-confident person ever. Real confidence is rooted in knowing that you’re good at something. And that something is important to you and valuable to others. On the other hand, if you feel that you must come across as confident in every situation the time, then I’m sorry, but that’s just your pride speaking, or maybe narcissism. I’m not sure, but it’s definitely not confidence, not rooted in yourself awareness. And the second telltale sign of confidence versus arrogance is the belief that your confidence is only valuable because it makes you better than someone else. It’s okay to be competitive in a particular skill, but being better at a task or two, doesn’t make you a better person than someone else. Your confidence should be a reflection of you.
You are abilities and your values because real confidence is not dependent on feeling superior to others. That’s in fact, a sign of arrogance. Superiority is arrogance. Narcissism is arrogance that needs constant reassurance and comparison to others. Now you find yourself more towards the arrogance end of the spectrum, then that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I often talk about personal growth, like a pendulum.
When you’re stuck on one hand for a while, and you try to get yourself unstuck, you’re going to swing to the other side and back and forth a few times before you find your balance. And one thing that can be very powerful in finding your right confidence, especially in relationships, is to develop your self awareness. This helps you understand what things make you feel loved and what things make you feel insecure, what things you bring to others, and what things do you need in your relationships. Just to help you take a deeper dive into that. So be sure to watch it, to develop arrogance-free confidence with a dose of humility. And that humility is the real key. It’s the secret ingredient for genuine confidence. We all have had experiences where someone acted arrogantly. Now I want you to think back to one such experience in your life. Maybe it was the way they were talking, the words they chose, or perhaps the non-verbals. Now recall if you felt good after talking to that person.
Did they earn your respect? And if the answer is no, if you didn’t feel empowered or valued, then use that experience to develop non arrogant, humble confidence for yourself. Confidence is an expression of who you are without any shame. It’s also an invitation for others to connect with you genuinely. Your confidence in being unapologetically you should also make others feel comfortable to be truly themselves, without any hesitation or fear of judgment. Because that’s where you truly bond with them. That’s how you feel accepted and respected by others. And guess what? When you receive respect and love, your confidence will grow too. Because people love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. You don’t have to convince anyone to see your strengths because it shows through your calm confidence that doesn’t need to be loud to be heard. And that’s the value of being humble.
Having a humble confidence – there is no better feeling in the world. Now, of course, you’re not going to get there overnight. It’s a process. It’s a journey. And if you are ready for this journey, then know that your Intentional Living family will be there with you, every step of the way. So if you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe and join this family, and here’s the article and the playlist I mentioned earlier in the article. Be happy, stay healthy, live intentionally.